The Wigglebrick Intercepts

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This site is a Roman Catholic fiction and commentary blog written in the epistolary style of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. More »

Sea-Tac Trees Are Back

By Prof. Ernest Thornberry
December 11th, 2006

My Dear Bunglehorn,

Well it was fun while it lasted. Looks like the powers that be came to their senses, ironically at the urging of the Rabbi complainant. He clarified that he wanted his menorah, but not at the expense of the existing Christmas display. For a moment, we even enjoyed a brewing rift as Jews came off as the Grinch Who Stole Christmas!

To be clear, the Rabbi’s threat of a lawsuit was key, so keep that clever tool handy. The West virtually deitifies the rule of law, even as it contradicts the spirit of the law. Legislative bodies rarely account for every possible scenario, which isn’t a problem as long as people understand that laws are as much an art form as they are a technical endeavor. The impact of a law isn’t completely known when it’s passed. So why do men take such comfort in the law when it yields the unexpected? The litigious society is much more apt to remove freedoms for the sake of a few. It’s no surprise, then, that a government beaurocrat at Sea-Tac airport would so easily fall into the trappings of making the exception the norm. She had those trees removed post haste!

My only regret with this little incident is people are wising up to the fact that Christmas trees are NOT a symbol of religion, rather they’re a tradition. Should your patient ponder this fact or (GASP!) consider the connection to any deeper meaning of Advent, you can counter in several ways. First, deny any religious or national tradition outright. Offer the false sense of fairness by relabeling them as “Holiday Trees.” If that doesn’t stick, remind him of the tradition’s pagan origins. That alone is enough for many to declare Advent traditions without merit. Exploit this line of reasoning further. Suggest that changing the meaning of traditions invalidates the spirit; ancient expressions trump the modern essence. Instill pride in him for “knowing his history.” Encourage him to correct others, especially those who don’t realize Early Christians revealed the light of Christ amid dark archaic fears of Winter Solstice. Pagans largely converted because of the love and respect Christians had for their cultures, celebrations and traditions. Christians had enough respect to incorporate pagan symbols into Christianity because they believed the Enemy plants seeds of Truth in all religions so that everyone may find Him. Insidious!

By all means, do not let your patient dwell on any feelings about the the commercialization of Christmas. Hell forbid that he actually decompose the word as “Christ’s Mass.” Instead, allow him the good seasonal feelings, just associate the vibe to the ever changing secular symbols, the campy holiday cinema and catchy Top 40 carols. These are the true “spirits” of Christmas. And with any luck, a few Jews will continue to debase their own religious symbols by insisting on their presence amid public displays of non religious icons. Even the most devout Christians cringe at the adaption of their sacramentals as new traditions in the Religion of Excess.

May you stay warm this season.

Affectionately yours,
Wigglebrick

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