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This site is a Roman Catholic fiction and commentary blog written in the epistolary style of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. More »

Fireworks Fun in Philly

By Prof. Ernest Thornberry
July 5th, 2007

Fun Times in Philly

Bunglehorn,

Did you hear about the Philadelphia fireworks fiasco last night? Due to rainy weather, city officials canceled their Independence Day fireworks show after people waited for hours to see it. Then, as the crowds departed, so did the clouds. The officials launched the show, but most spectators had left. The news accounts how everyone is upset.

CBS reports, “A call to the mayor’s office to obtain comment has not been returned.” Perhaps Mayor John F. Street is too busy playing with his new iPhone? He waited in line for hours, until some kid in a mohawk asked him “How can you sit here with 200 murders in the city already?” Another example of how easily perception shifts with a simple little question.

May I suggest, show these stories to your patient and elucidate for him this irony: an event meant to spark patriotic pride causes resentment of public leaders. In the deeply historic City of Brotherly Love, no less!

The conductors of the fireworks show can only operate with the information they have at the time. The weather cleared within minutes of cancellation, safety returned, so they pulled the trigger. Probably saved the city a few million dollars in future expenses. But deluged with these kind of stories, your patient ought to arrive at our conclusion: your leaders are idiots.

In a sense, they are dolts with respect to public relations. Mayor Street ought to be out front first thing this morning apologizing and making the city’s case for safety, savings and litigation avoidance. Doubtful they will and doubtful the national media would cover it anyway.

You and I benefit from a man’s general distrust in his elected leaders because it erodes his confidence in any authority. With luck, he’ll come to doubt the existence of an Absolute Authority, ergo his Creator. Even if he doesn’t go that far, he’ll at least turn inward for solace. Makes sense if he can’t depend on the leaders in his life.

Therefore, do your part to hide goodness by authority figures. Focus on the foolishness, mistakes and evil. Turn him against his parents, his teachers, his bosses and his spiritual guides. Convince him he knows better and can do better. You know where lack of humility takes him.

Warmest Regards,
Wigglebrick

Philadelphia

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